discord2chaos (discord2chaos) wrote,
discord2chaos
discord2chaos

Heart Sick

Title: Heart Sick

Author:  discord2chaos 

Fandom: SPN
Pairing/Characters: Dean/? Maybe Castiel, Maybe Sam its up to you to decide

Genre: Angst

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers/Warnings: none

Word Count: 349
Notes: This may become a verse but right now it’s just a one off.

Summary: Sometimes even being close can feel like it’s a universe away.

 

He ached in a way that seemed impossible to describe, all he knew was that whenever Dean came close it seemed harder to breathe. There seemed to be an actual pain at times, sometimes in his head, other times in his chest.  When he was alone though, it seemed to get worse, like there was a piece of him missing. It was impossible at time to not want to scream at the heavens that Dean was his, that everyone should just back off.  He would get angry at times to hear Dean badmouthed, even in a joking manner, because it was Dean who was being slighted.  It seems to be getting worse lately though, both the pain and the emptiness, maybe it was the anticipation of Dean leaving. Dean wasn’t leaving permanently, or at least he hoped so. It seemed that in the last few weeks everything was going back to normal, that their relationship was returning to the closeness that they had had in the years before. This wasn’t a surprise, this separation; they had both known that this was going to happen for quite a while.  It hurt to know though that he was the only one that this was affecting this much. His soul mate was right in front of him and there was nothing to do to stop him from leaving.  It was heart sickness, he knew this intellectually but to have it constantly shoved in his face by others just made hurt more. To know that he had told Dean that he loved him and to be rejected, well that was just icing on the cake.

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